maddy

WELL i have not been missing or giving up, although i do believe  under the circumstances,i may have put on a couple of lbs, not to bad and eaSy to catch  up on, i will just be patient with myself,’well where do i begin,3 weeks ago  i took my mother to the cardiologist and well quietly sitting in the waiting room become a mass chaos,  i am the mother/daughter to my parents , take them to dr appointment drive them every where,and well i don’t know what become of them since retirement, they become big babies, not a big deal, because  even though i have 3 brothers i am the one who steps to bat when push comes to shove as far as health is concerned, anyway just going for her check ,secondary to  complaining of being tired, turned into call  dad!  the doctor won’t let me go home, i have to go to the hospital..well of course you get  a little discombobulated and what!!! dr was concerned she is a canditate for a heart attack/stroke, her Blood pressure sky high and well no pass go no collecting 200 dollars we are going!!! now…called all my family and well long story short she is home and resting and just a medication adjustment.this was a tuesday 3 weeks ago…

well two tuesdays ago about 10;30 at night mike (my honey)come home after  being out stopped off to get  one of those frosty things  he lovesfrom wendys and comes home and he is talking to me eating his ice-cream thing and says to me feel this calmly!.i litereally can see his heart pounding through his shirt, i put my ear to his chest and it litetrally sounds like a motor boat  his heart beat was so fast i couldn’t even count it and irregular , he went into atrial fibrillation and  911 to hospital,diagnosed with a-fib, irregular rapid hert rate after 48 hours  he finally went into regular sinus rythm after two different medications, they were close to doing cardioversion, which is electric shock to bounce his heart in to regular rhyhm, last case scenerio, but he is home on aspirin now and cardiac meds, and he is stressed because he is only 39 and well let me tell you this was a BIG WAKE UP CALL FOR US…

well  my weeks gets worse, my cousin the kind of guy everyone to love he  is handsome and successful business man,and a great personality , just a vibrant man..died on halloween of massive heart attack,…what a shock, and after just going through what i did with mike, it hit me hard!!!! and i still am trying to digest this all,my cousin would of been 43  in march.

But one thing  i have gained from all this is life goes quick, and you never know your last second on earth, leave for work in the morning  or just coming back from getting icecream, and the next minute your in the emergency fighting for you life,

why wait to do things you want…just do it,

my brother is going through a grueling time in his life  his marriage is on the fence and she is just wanting out.no reason visually,..i personally think  she has feeling for someone else , but its been to long and he is just leaving the ball in her court, his first wife died and left behind a 2 year old baby, and well nothing should hurt as bad as the first time,  this  woman don’t want him just  don’t wait to long. she is making  him miserable, so might as well make two happy homes and let it go!!…its ok, and it will pass, and he will be able to smile again. he just doesnt know that now! never put your fate in someone else’s hands, make yourself happy only you know what you need for you in life,if someone else  understands  thats a great bonus.never put your life on the back burner for someone who is hurting you that deeply.

  Mortality has become such as reality and i must say i  am a little depressed at all thats going on around me, and yes i had let things as far as me go to the way side while i  helped those around  i love to have in my life stay right where they are.. in my life!!!!

Now i need to take care of me,,, i know i let a few lbs creep back, rushing around and not making good choices, not being home to plan and make dinner running from one thing to the  next, i need love and support now,, and so i am going to reasses my situation step on the scale wednsday at weight watchers and take it from there… not stress about it,, because. stress kills…. and believe me i am my own worst enemy!! and i dissapoint myself by not doing right my me, .. i will let you know how i do wednsday… in the mean time,… be well be happy and stay healthy

 and yes  my honey is going to be put on program with me,, because i love hom that much to keep him right by my side…