maddy

WELL … WEDNSDAY WAS WEIGH IN AND  THE SEGA CONTINUES, I HAVEN’T LOST A THING , THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE BETTER, BUT!! NOPE..OH WELL,, AND I HAD TO  LOOK BACK ON  THE BLOG I WROTE ABOUT 2008 CONTRACT, TO  READ WHAT I EXACTLY WANT TO DO THIS YEAR FOR MYSELF,,….OH YEA!! THINK OPPTOMISTIC..(TRYING)GRRRR… LOOSING PATIENTS WITH MYSELF BESIDE MY MENSES AND THATS  GONE,, SOMETHING  NOT QUITE RIGHT WITH ME,. I AM GENERALLY A EASY LOOSER AFTER  TOM,S VISIT, WELL STEPPED ON THE SCALE, AND I BEEN BEING REAL GOOD EVEN JOURNALING, AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW , JOURNAL SEEMS TO HAVE THIS MAGICAL EFFECT ON THE SCALE,  I THINK  THIS  NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THE SCALE HAS SOMETHING TO  DO WITH THIS STABBING SHARP PAIN I GET ON MY RIGHT  SIDE   IN MY BACK, DON’T WORRY I AM GETTING IT CHECKED OUT, AND WOULD BE JUST MY LUCK I TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FAMILY, AND  PULL THEM THREW AND  NOW I HAVE TO NURSE MYSELF, I AM SO DONE WITH  ILLNESS, CALGON!! TAKE ME AWAY!!….WELL I WILL KEEP  JOURNALING AND KEEP MY HEAD UP AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WEEK AND WELL IF IT   THE SAME RESULTS ON THE SCALE NEXT WEEK,,   I AM GOING TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE TWO YEAR OLD TANTRUMS,.. GRRRRR,,,,,HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT WEEKEND

Well ,, what the hell is this!! if  having one  of those weeks wasn’t enough and getting back on track is  not easy , when i pushed myself to the reception desk to restart  on program, having gained 10 lbs back,, to talk myself into being positive and having a menza menza type of week, and WTF do you thnk i get today!! yeppers TOM,, i hate that SOB,,, and i am not pmsing like i could be though,, gees it’s a good thing i go to therapy  in the begining of the week, to talk myself out of ripping someones head off, , but i never had pms like i do now..grrrrrr,,,must be those fabulous forties creeping up on me,,, lord along with that all those other, suprises that come along with forties. heck mike has this  myth in his head for some reason that we become horny toads at forty us women like and our libido  goes through the roof,, will somone please tell him it’s all a myth…well this week  certainly was off to a rough start but looking  foward to loosing th 4 lbs of water bloat plus next week,,yes i know cheating already,.. well have a good weeke everyone

I BELIEVE IT’S ALL IN THE ATTITUDE.. I HAD A FAIRLY DECENT DAY DIET WISE, BUT MY ATTITUDE  WAS GREAT,

MY HONEY AND I HAD A REAL GREAT DAY AND  WE ACTUALLY HAD PICKED UP A NEW HOBBY TO ENJOY TOGETHER AS IF WE DON’T DO ENOUGH, WE NEED TO GO FIND ANOTHER HOBBY TO MAKE US BROKER,, AND THIS YEAR IS FOR ME.  I WANT TO LET MY SPIRIT FREE AND  LIVE AND  BE HAPPY AND WELL I SUPPOSE I AM LIVING UP TO MY CONTRACT TO HAVE FUN AND TAKE RISKS BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED RIDING MY HONEYS, ATV, (QUAD) THAT TODAY WE SAID FRIG IT AND GOT ME ONE, AND WELL I FEEL LIKE I AM A REBEL ON THAT THING, I PROBABLY LOOK LIKE A DAMN BLIMP. BUT WHO CARES, THATS ONE THING I NEED TO LEARN .. IS STOP BEING SO SELF CONSCIOUS. IT’S LIKE FEAR , IT PARALYZES YOU,, TO WHERE YOU DON’T LIVE. SO I WILL BE  THE ONLY  ONE WEARING MAKEUP RIDING A  ATV, BUT WHO CARES.HEHE..

I KNOW SOUNDS KIND OF FUNNY  WE ARE BOTH GOING TO BE 40 THIS YEAR AND WE NEED  ATV’S LIKE WE NEED HOLE IN THE HEADS  BUT ITS A RISK AND FUN, AND YES THIS IS THE YEAR I AM PLANNING A SMALL WEDDING OR MAYBE NOT, WHO KNOWS WE JUST MIGHT RUN AWAY! WHAT EVER WE FEEL  AND WHEN ITS RIGHT, WE BEEN THROUGH ALOT THIS YEAR  WE LIKE HOBBIES IN THE SUMMER WE DEEP SEA FISH ALOT AND BOAT AND WELL NOW WE HAVE A ALL YEAR ROUND HOBBY WHICH BURNS CALORIES AS WELL..MIKES BEEN GOING THROUGH SOME HEALTH ISSUES AND WELL LEARNING TO LIVE WITH IT AND DEALING WITH FAMILY ISSUES AS WELL WE   GOT A LITTLE SPONTANEOUS AND  AND GOT IMPULSIVE,  SO ANYWAY, NO REGRETS EITHER,

I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GREAT DAY, AND WILL CATCH YA  TOMMOROW,

Well, here it goes, i just blogged my issue, now i state my contract..

1.i will continue to be the happy loving women i know i can be

2. i will  fill my life with the things that make me happy

3. I will  take care of myself . so i am able to take care of things around me, and not let it effect me.

4. I will plan to succeed.. and do what it takes to get  what i want.

5.I will accept the things i can not change and change the things i can..amen..

6. I will ask for what i need when i need help, and not be proud to think i have to do everything. notice when i am being weighed down.

7.Take risks and not hold myself back from changes.embrace it to live and be happier…

8. Welcome 2008   for the year that i am going to take the time to make life great!!! put 2007 behind me look foward…not back!!!

Well….getting back on track from being a gluten  for the past 2 months and gaining back 10 lbs, is mentally a inner struggle, although the past three days have been a challenge for me ,

life is strange and i do realize it is a mental game and i have the power to control myself, but what stops me from  having the strength,i blame emotions but i  do it to myself, i blame my surroundings and  all the emotional segas, going around me, but  having a pint of ice cream doesn’t help the emotions or the issue,  only my tastebuds are happy,..and well i am the one  who holds the key to the door to  stopping the insanity, but why do i choose not to  open the door and when i do start to turn the key and i am creeping in and changing my life and loosing weight making myself feel good, and things happen i slam the door shut and  here i am again ,picking up the key to start and turn things around again!

 the holidays have always been a time i knew i would put on weight and  i am not the preparer or the cook, so i go to other family and friends, and well i EAT!.. and eat!!!..

so this wednsay i went back to weight wathchers after 8 weeks  of missing in action,(humble) with my tail between my  legs and my head hung low,, and well was good to see others are in the same boat, and stuck behind the same door with me, as many of us on this site are,  battling a life long struggle with weight and issues, and so we come here to get it out and vent , and believe me, you will see alot of me again, i commend all thoughs of you  who have never stopped stayed stead fast through the holidays and all kinds of issues  in life and still continued to put yourself first and those who left and come back, this is something we just can not do alone. support either here or in your immediate life is help.i do realize when  something  is going wrong in my life i make everything wrong, so now i need to make it alright,  looking foward 2008 being great, i have lots to plan this year,weddings anniversaries, birthdays,babies, ,,making life changes, i notice if i plan, i succeed….,if i don’t  i  wing it and i am not the type to wing things or i go off the deep end!! and i just come back from being over the edge, so,.. i am bouncing back from some issues that caused some depressed times in my life and well, time to make the best of things ,,, not let it effect my whole life and  make my life opptomistic and not pestimistic,,,So here we go….hold my hand tight and lets jump, into 2008  to feel great!

Yes I let life get the best of me..

 it’s been one heck of a journey and once again i put myself on the back burner, for family, friends and it’s myself to blame so i will not  play the victim here, i always   allow myself to get to caught up in personal things that , i don’t even  notice myself slipping away!

and i will be the first to admit, i didn’t even know i was on a diet for the past two months and yes 10 lbs creeped back up on me, that fast. i always known i was a emotional eater ,  but i was like a gluten, and never even noted what i was shoving in at the  time, till i couldn’t even walk away from the table, sickening, i  never once  stopped paying for weight watchers , because of the  monthly pass payments its made life alot easier to get back on track to go back to the meetings , so here i am back on track in 2008, to feel great.  and change my emotions toward life.i changed the kitchen around once again, and this time i even changed the junk draw everyone must have where you throw everything in , scissors,tape, pens pencils and anything else you hide in there, made that the smallest draw in the kitchen now! so i am looking foward to know more junk in my trunk!!..

but i must say, i am glad i didnt put back all my weight or i would be totally bummed, but i wouldn’t of given up ..just started again!

well happy new year to everyone, and may this year be a lighter journey